


Hold on to Me

by KathyBoug



Category: Placebo (UK Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationship, Drugs, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Rape, just saying brian is always a bottom so keep that in mind, molsdal, sry stefan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 08:32:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14281053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KathyBoug/pseuds/KathyBoug
Summary: Stefan just wanted to go to a party to see Brian. He just wanted to take care of him. Protect him.





	Hold on to Me

"Yeah alright. I'll be there by eleven."

Stefan smiled as he hung up. He was actually in a mood for a party tonight, and he had run out of cocaine. He knew the party would be equipped appropriately. He put his phone in his back pocket and went to his bedroom, in order to change clothes. Not like he would dress up but, he decided that the sweatpants he was wearing at the moment weren't the best thing either, so he opted for black  jeans and a tank top. The weather was hot for him, after all.

He sighed. At least he would be able to see Brian. They hadn't talked much the past few days, since they didn't have much work to do either. Eversince Brian moved in with _him_ they had been talking less than normally. He caught himself missing the raven's presence badly. Missing the stupid shit they used to do each time before they went to sleep, if the went to sleep. Missed his laugh echoing in the now empty apartment, missed waking up with a dick drawn on his face. Missed the annoyed lecture he got each time he forgot to cook when it was his turn. Missed the occasional touches.

He knew they hadn't really meant anything. He was still Brian's best friend after all. But somehow, _somehow_ he realized that maybe he felt more for Brian than just platonic love, and occasional lust after alcohol, drugs or just a long time without a partner.

Not like he would ever admit it, of course. He didn't want to make things complicated, for their friendship _or_ the band.

He finally took his car keys and left the apartment. It was less than a twenty-minute drive to the place the party was held, so he wasn't late. He made sure to lock his car and was greeted by loud music, flashing lights, and people at the entrance patting him on the back and asking how it was going. He just nodded, pushing his way through. Many were still outside anyway, talking. It was still early for certain things, he guessed.

At last, he was in, and he immediately looked around for his shorter friend. The lights were blinding and he couldn't hear much other than the music, and in addition the space wasn't big enough for all this crowd so he wondered how in the hell would he find-

"Hey Stef! Check this out!"

The familiar voice made him turn, and he was greeted by Brian, visibly stoned, holding a small bag filled with white powder. He smiled, walking up to him quickly. He was wearing a pair of leather leggings and an oversized shirt. It looked comfortable. His black hair was kind of messy, but always gracefully following the movement of his head. Noticing the red lipstick and the eye-liner made him chuckle softly, before hugging him against his body. Although his eyes kind of narrowed at the sight of his boyfriend approaching them.

"Let's make it snow" Brian said in a loud enough just to be heard voice, and pushed Stefan towards the bathroom, not paying attention to his partner. He wanted to see his friend now, and he couldn't let him go through five minutes of a party without him feeling comfortable or just _good._

Once they were in, the shorter man closed the door, impatiently laying some of the white substance on the sink. He took out a credit card and started cutting lines, Stefan just watching him quietly for now. Before the other could lean in and snort the first line, he stopped him by putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Bri, you're pretty damn stoned already. I don't want you to get knocked out this early" he cooed, earning a laugh as a response.

"Worried about me, Stef? Come on, it's not like anything can happen. I'm being taken care of, y'know" he grinned, and once again leaned in and snorted the first line. This time he wasn't stopped, and once he was finished he slumped back against Stefan's chest, feeling light-headed for a moment. But he shook it off, just for the sake of laying a second line out for the other.

Willing to stop every negative emotion, Stefan mimicked Brian's movements, and closed his eyes. He knew it would kick in any time now, and so he pulled the raven against hos body, facing him. No words uttered, he pulled him up while leaning down to make up for the height difference, kissing him hard.

The response was immediate, lips opening to accommodate the blond's tongue, feeling it explore his mouth after a long time. Eyes were closed and he was gripping on the man's tank top, feeling arms secured around his thin body. They both fought for dominance, but the drugs and alcohol he had already consumed gave Stefan the lead. They must have been kissing each other in that rough manner for long minutes, because once they finally pulled away Stefan could see the red lipstick smeared and lips bruised, probably partly because of his growing beard. He hadn't shaved lately, anyway.

"So come on then" Brian winked, wiping his mouth from the lipstick with the back of his hand, opening the door and allowing the loud music enter the bathroom. He walked out and Stefan hurriedly followed, not wanting to lose him from his sight.

But his boyfriend caught up to them the moment he saw them, and after shooting Stefan a warning glance, he wrapped his arm around Brian's waist and pulled him away, getting lost in the crowd.

Stefan felt better now though, both thanks to coke and the kiss, so he decided to stop worrying and just have some fun for now. That's what he did, pouring some vodka into one of those plastic cups, walking up to anyone that piqued his interest. He might have had a couple of drunken make-out sessions throughout that time, but he just kept moving from one person to another. He felt too much energy and confidence and he couldn't remain in one place.

After a couple of hours, he decided to find Brian again. Besides, he wanted to have some fun with him too. He _was_ his best friend after all, and they were used to partying together. However he couldn't find him through the crowd, so he thought of checking the rooms. He wasn't snorting more cocaine in the bathroom. He wasn't smoking outside, or catching a breath. He didn't seem to have passed out anywhere either. Only place left was the bedroom, and he didn't hesitate to check.

He was met with the image of a passed-out Brian, almost naked on the bed, and his partner above him, moving harshly. His eyes widened. He knew something like this could had happened. He knew how easy Brian was to be taken advantage of after doing drugs; that was what he had been afraid of from the beginning.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" he yelled, he didn't care whose the fuck that party was. He wasn't going to just leave his friend that way.

"None of your damn business. You had your chance. Or do you think I don't know about your little make-out session in the bathroom? Now leave and let me have some fun" he growled, not stopping for a second.

The blond couldn't handle that, the unconscious body jerking with each move. He was next to the guy in a matter of seconds, and he was soon pushing on him with such force that he was on his back, off the bed. It must had been the adrenaline. He saw red.

"The fuck is wrong with you?!" he kept yelling, he didn't get it. They were boyfriends. Why did he choose to do something like that, to fuck him while being unconscious, at a party too? What he did know was that it was wrong. Whatever the reason behind it, he wasn't going to let Brian, his Brian be used this way. Especially not by _him_.

"Get the fuck out. Now!" he almost screamed, watching the guy huff and stand up. He zipped his pants, since he hadn't really removed any clothing, and walked to the door.

"I don't care if you tell him. He won't believe you and you know it. Even if he does, he'll still stick around. He always does" the words were laced with venom, and Stefan knew what was hidden behind them. It would just hurt him.

He pushed his face into his palms and growled, frustrated. All and any high from the alcohol or the drugs was lost, and he felt helpless.

How had Bri gotten into this mess?

He shook his head and tried to focus. He had to take care of him first. So he picked up his clothes and put them back on the porcelain body, his hands brushing against the warm skin at the process. It pained him. The fact that he failed to protect him pained him. Here he was thinking how much he cared about him, and he just failed him.

After dressing him up, he pulled the blanket over him, considering just taking him back to his apartment. However, he needed a moment to calm down. He sneaked under the covers too, pulling the small body against his own tightly, closing his eyes. What had he even drunk anyway? He didn't seem to be waking up any time soon. He pressed a kiss on the top of his head and felt the defenseless figure snuggle up to him. He smiled faintly. At least it was a response.

Once he made sure everything was okay, and he was calmer, he got up. Before he knew it, he was carrying Brian into his arms towards his car, carefully putting him in the backseat. He started driving home, his fingers tapping against the stirring wheel. He was determined now. He would take care of him, he would make sure he was there when he woke up. He would make sure he felt okay. The drug's after effects had started kicking in too, and he felt terrible. What happened helped to strengthen that feeling of negativity, and he was glad when they reached the apartment block unharmed.

He once again carried the other, thankful that the elevator got fixed the other day. He didn't know what he'd do if he had to use the stairs now. Unlocking proved to be difficult while holding Brian and making sure he wasn't dropped, but at last they were in and he kicked the door behind them. Leading them to his bedroom, he placed the unconscious man on his bed before slumping on it as well. He just pulled the cover over them, and for the second time pulled him close, wanting to protect him. He shut his eyes and thought of how to treat him tomorrow, what to tell him.

But he knew it was pointless. Brian had given up on himself long ago. He didn't care whether he was used. He didn't care if Stefan could provide him with care and love, no matter in what sense.

It wasn't as if he was delusional. Maybe the raven wasn't in love with that douche, but he wasn't in love with him either. He just liked to have fun with him. He just felt comfortable around him, it was all some sort of friends-with-benefits shit.

Still, if Brian wouldn't take care of himself, he would be the one to.

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah instead of studying for my exam I decided to do this because same


End file.
